In Your Hands

About a semester ago, I was hanging out with a group when one of my friends started thanking me out of the blue. Confused by his gratitude I asked why he thanked me. He simply says “I struggled with keeping and growing my beard. But one time you complimented my beard and I haven’t shaved it off since”. Growing and keeping your beard is a religious act, it’s a must for men. And as of late it has gotten harder to do things because one way or another, someone will look at you funny. Yet, despite all this, a simple compliment helped my friend overcome all of those societal pressures.

Influence.

”the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behaviour of someone or something, or the effect itself.”

Regarded by many as the true measure of power.

The higher your following, the higher your value is a person. Life after death. Some might go as far as making it their sole purpose in life. “Live only to be remembered after you’re gone”. 

Imagine a stone. You choose to shape into a memorable statue or a petrifying effigy. Whatever it is that you make, it'll endure time for a good while before it's gone, and as long as it lasts, you'll be remembered. 

It is true that influence can do wonders. You can change how a person thinks or behaves; help someone grow into a better person.

Simply put, knowing that something you’ve done or said can save someone or help someone through a tough time, having someone you may not necessarily know think greatly of you, is incredible.

To start, as a Muslim, influence to me would be helping someone be better for the sake of Allah. My whole entirety revolving around my lord is what defines the influence I wish to have on those around me. It's a reminder of my mortality, and a reminder of how I can improve things for myself long after I'm gone. 

Which begs the question, how big do my actions have to be in order to be “of influence” on someone?

The answer is, drum rolls please, tiny. Incredibly minute. 

If you’re a normal person (or a person who’s trying to be modest), to you it’ll always seem tiny. Perhaps it might seem as something you’ve solely done for the sake of your lord. Or to please someone you care about. Or even just because you wanna fo something nice for no exact reason. Such small things, they make a difference.

To affect someone’s life, you don’t have to alter his entire environment. You don’t even have to change him. Sometimes your influence is through a word of advice, a hug or even a small compliment, like the case with my friend . Heck, you lecturing them while dropping jokes around might seem idiotic to you, but believe me it brings more than just joy to your listeners.

Take your younger sibling for example, let's say you shout at them. Scolding is part of your package as an elder sibling. And fights always happen between you and anyone you love. But let’s make a prediction of the consequences of your influence.

Over time, your younger sibling develops one of two adaptations, all based on scolding. Either they become more obedient, at the expense of their sense of security as they do what they're told because they don't want to be hurt; and until they manage to break that barrier, they're mostly door mats for the time being.

Or they grow an immunity, becoming more stubborn and harder to interact with as they grow a method of fighting back against the pain they endured because of you.

Similarly, let's say you practiced being patient and kind to your siblings. Changing a slight tone in your voice when furious with them. You tried to be more lenient, giving them a chance to speak as you listen very thoroughly. You could even dismiss some of the things they do, even if it drives you insane. To you, it might be a small variable control. To them, it could potentially be room for a reset. Starting a new leaf aiming towards betterment.

Influence isn’t in numbers. Influence is in value.

The prophet SAW once said بلِّغوا عنِّي ولو آيةً. Which translates roughly into “Tell people about me, even if it’s just one verse”. Which I think speaks volumes about encouraging influence, even if the bare minimum in number, because what matters is its’ value.

 What does your influence offer to those who took you up as their role model? And how have they changed ever since? Above all else, what does your influence offer you in front of God? You’ll be held accountable one day, so make sure that whatever it is you’re remembered for, it’s one that draws a smile, a prayer, or even further positive influence – a domino effect of sorts. It won’t last forever, but while it’s around, god knows what good may come out of it, for you or those you nudge.

See, the ultimate power of a human isn’t influence, it’s choice. 

You choose to help or not. You’re the one who decides to smile in the face of people, regardless of what is going through your life. It’s all in your hands, a light so brilliant, all it needs is to be redirected to brighten up your life or someone else’s. And since lights' journey around the Cosmos is almost infinite, your reach, too, will be carried all around one day. It might not be a huge impact, but it's an impact all the same, a record set in stone that you were here. And above all, an almost infinite source for good after you’re gone.