Gatekeeping: Making Stars Plummet

The first ever incident I can remember of someone gatekeeping was on my way home from a very exhausting Model United Nations event. I was aboard a coach with my schoolmates and one of them had a speaker. Everyone took turns requesting a song, and my request was “Scared of the dark”. Now, upon request, I was met by a classmate’s aggressive glare. Let’s call this classmate Aziz. I clearly remember Aziz saying “Well, you’ll have to sing it then” after I recommended it. Thing is, I pretty much only knew the bridge of the song and he knew that. So as the song played, I fumbled the lyrics while Aziz scoffed and poked fun at my inability to sing.

 

The definition of Gatekeeping is when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who deserves access to a community or identity. This happens frequently in life, and it is a very destructive behaviour.

Not only do you just feed a cancerous growth into your ego where you put yourself on a pedestal that could lead you to invalidating anything that opposes your opinion, rendering you blind. But it also ruins the experience for the person you shut out. And this isn’t limited to entertainment like Gaming or Music. It can also be in religion. A lot of us make mistakes. Some make simple mistakes, others commit atrocities. But occasionally, you’ll find someone who just found out everything they’re doing is wrong. So, naturally, they try turning over a new page. This is what’s called an Awakening “الصحوة”.

Not everyone is lucky enough to receive an awakening, and not everyone awakens early. I was halfway through the 18^th year of my life and just then did I realise I’ve got plenty to work on. This realisation humbled me to an extent. Now, when I see something wrong happening, I try to point it out. Which is only natural given that I just learned so myself, and my experience entails that I don’t just idly watch as someone else falls down the same path I have just gotten out of.

Thing is, there are many ways to go around when correcting people. You can belittle this person, make them feel irredeemable, which is especially effective for those who have only recently awakened. You could constantly remind them of what they’re doing being wrong and that they’re awful people for doing it. By doing this, you’ll feel great about yourself I’ll guarantee you that. But the person getting berated will be one step closer to abandoning what could be his one and only chance.

Now, does that mean that you shouldn’t point out what’s wrong? NO! Do point it out. But respect the person you’re giving advice to. Keep it in secrecy, try not to embarrass them. Don’t attack the person. The action is wrong, and its not necessarily the person. If they don’t know they’re in the wrong they’d probably feel awful, and if they do know they’re in the wrong they might end up automatically muting you out because many before you have pointed it out before in the very same brutish attitude that you have.

Your anger towards seeing someone tread the same thorny path you once took does not ever justify being an ass about it to them. Whether or not that makes you feel better about yourself.

 

 

In conclusion, be humble. You’re not the best, you’re not perfect. And it is absolutely not worth it to belittle someone just so you can feel more authentic to yourself. Because there will be a day where you will be held responsible for your actions. If you see something wrong, try to correct it. Be thankful for your enlightenment, and above all be kind.